When is a good time to understand?
We humans strive to understand each other - sometimes…
We humans do our best to share our world with others - sometimes…
We humans are curious about how other humans live, think, feel - always… - whether we admit it or not.
When is a good time to understand?
We humans strive to understand each other - sometimes…
We humans do our best to share our world with others - sometimes…
We humans are curious about how other humans live, think, feel - always… - whether we admit it or not.
American Civil War Today - musical passion
Why would anyone be interested in the American Civil War? We’ve had so many civil wars since then. As for the music of wars? Marching tunes? Surely there is no point in dragging up memories of times past? There have been too many civil wars.
But tunes linger…
I was a child in Limerick when I first heard the music of the American Civil War. To me, the origin of the melodies didn’t matter much. It was years later when I realised many of the melodies I’d loved were composed in the 1860’s.
War music, the rhythm of soldiers marching to their death, the songs of people left behind & dying on a battlefield never seen - surely it would be better, healthier, to forget all that sort of stuff?
Poetry & Music…
When I fell in love with the poetry of Walt Whitman & the story of his life with Peter Doyle - that’s when I first got interested in where the music came from.
I’d like to share some of my passion for the American Civil War - not the politics of Abraham Lincoln, not the defence of the Union - the music of community.
Here’s a series of 6 audio podcasts…
I hope you find something in them to enjoy and share with others.
Many people have personal blogs - where they share personal stuff. This is my place where I post an eclectic variety of content. I also have a business blog - that’s my professional space - where you find my best shot at helping people to do business well.
But I’m like most people - a person with a wide collection of interests & curiosities. I find it difficult - impossible to confine my communication to a single topic.
The theme that ties everything here is my daughter Grace ("omanidot" on Twitter). I began writing for her in 2005, imagining she’d be interested (some day) in my experience of moving back to Ireland from UK. That focus on one audience has been the most important support - it’s kept me at it, so I never feel any wish to give up this blog. It’s a special place.
Yesterday…
after a tweet from Diane Brogan (@dianebrogan on Twitter), I had a rethink about this blog. I came to this conclusion: here is where you find my "Eclectic Passions". I don’t try to confine content to any topic. The theme that binds it all together is "Passion".
For example:
(function() { var po = document.createElement("script"); po.type = "text/javascript"; po.async = true; po.src = "http://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/assets/embed.js"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(po, s); })();
I realise I’ve left out my passion for gender equality in Irish politics & the topic of improving Irish political life. But I must be careful I don’t let my passion for changing the status quo run away with me.
As you can see, I love Audioboo.
Thank you for calling in here. I hope you find something that hooks your passion.
(Thanks again to Diane Brogan.)
Meditative Walking the Dog at night
Listen to the audio version of this blogpost here :
_________________________________
Like many others, I take my dog for a walk every night. It’s more for my good than his. The short walk outside - around the estate where I live - is an opportunity for me to empty my mind & prepare for sleep. The dog loves it.
Almost 3 years ago, in Norfolk, Christian Payne - an Englishman known as "Documentally" - got ready to take his dog out for a walk. For some reason, he recorded what he was doing & shared it with others via Audioboo. This is that (103 seconds) recording : Don"t Eat The Iphone. (mp3)
Over 2 years ago, in Darmstadt, Hesse, Germany - in a forest close to his house, "Ironfinger" walked his dog & recorded this 59 seconds Walking The Dog… (mp3)
Shortly afterwards, in Communauté-Urbaine-de-Montréal, QC, Canada, "bwcowie" recorded & shared 23 seconds Walking the dog (mp3)
These were the first three dog walking Audioboos ever recorded & shared. Thus began a new genre. I suspect none of the three ever listened to recordings made by the others. It was as if the time had arrived for sharing what it’s like to be "walking the dog".
The first woman to make an Audioboo while walking her dog was "gillibobs". She shared 43 seconds - including a very faint "cacophony of birdsong" Walking the dog boo (mp3)
The first American was from Midvale, Utah, Don Livingston. He recorded 156 seconds on 22 March 2010 Walking the dog (mp3)
During those early years, 10 "walking the dog" Boos were made by 9 people (Documentally made 2) from 4 countries.
The following year 31 were made by Booers from 6 countries: England (3), Denmark (1), Scotland (1) Canada (1), Netherlands (1), Ireland (24).
Since February 2011, 46 Boos have been made from 4 countries: England (5), Netherlands (1), Germany (1), Ireland (39).
My first "Walking the dog" Audioboo was "Walking the dog on a Sunday afternoon in Glanmire Cork #omanipup" - 475 seconds. It’s been listened to 690 times. Walking the Dog on a Sunday afternoon in Glanmire Cork #omanipup (mp3)
My personality is prone to excess.
I have passions, obsessions, grand (even grandiose) projects. This is me. My work on myself is the job of curbing a tendency to generate too many attractive ideas & ambitions.
I use the evening walks with "Rocky" - a Coton de Tulear -to relax, to empty my mind as best I can. For me, these walks are a form of meditation - a peculiar meditation I sometimes share on audio. The walk helps me get off to sleep without dwelling on the events of the day which has been.
But is it ridiculous, risky or a worthwhile thing that I’ve made 88 "walking the dog" Boos?
You can find them all here.
"To write a poem now" - read by the poet - my first effort since depression lifted (mp3)
This is my first effort to write a poem since the lifting of depression. I began it in Ely, near Cambridge UK, & finished the first draft in Cafe Beva, Glanmire, Co Cork.
To write a poem now
To write a poem now
forgotten how,
fingers all too stale,
grown pale.
Unused soul went to sleep,
troubled deep.
Christ rose from the dead,
threw off sheets drenched in blood,
woke up, pushed the stone -
back -
so light and birdsong dawned,
his dream made flesh,
again.
Fear revisited,
traces linger instead,
as if painted over.
Whitewashed over…
Jesus wrote his poem
on the road to Emmaus,
recovered from Gethsemane.
The words even ascended into Heaven
and were repeated.
To write a poem now…
the least I could do.
#Audioboo : why I"ve come back to social media @chrisbrogan thanks (mp3)
Dear Grace,
Chris Brogan published "Depression is an offline event" on 27 October. I was surprised because I’ve been thinking about how I could restart this blog after 9 months silence. Because of my depression, I’ve been absent from all social media since January. Chris Brogan’s words spoke to me - gave me the lift & hook I needed.
I’m back here now - a changed person.
My bout of depression was awful.
Although I’ve had several bouts since 1992, this time was as bad as ever. The knowledge that I’d survived & pulled through before was hardly any consolation to me. It didn’t shorten or reduce the dominance of anxiety & low low mood every day. I felt as dreadful as I’d ever done, as hopeless, as cut off, as lost…
I gave up writing. I found the thought of social media & networking made me nauseous. All the connecting I’d done so furiously & enjoyably seemed pointless & a waste of time. I spent huge chunks of the days alone in the house - avoided going out to meet people as much as possible. My confidence & self-esteem sank. You could say I practised the art of not existing - every day from mid January until about 10 October.
Of course I went out & did things, went places, met people during this time. But my heart wasn’t in it. It felt to me as if I was going through the motions of being a person - without any of the satisfactions you expect from ’ordinary life’.
The long time I spent with you in Lahinch over the summer helped - but it didn’t lift my depression. I felt fortunate others were so good to you. Did I ever thank them properly? Did I ever help them?
But the depression has lifted.
I have hope again - some confidence & self-esteem - a multicoloured life has returned to me - and I now want to connect with others.
That’s why I’m writing this.
Back to what Chris Brogan wrote:
"In the last several weeks, two people that I’ve known from online have taken their lives. In both cases, there were tweets or Facebook posts or Google+ updates that hinted that things might be falling apart. But we rarely notice such posts. We rarely hear them loudly, because they aren’t Siri jokes or cats dressed like astronauts.
Depression is tricky. People seeking to connect and get solace online, it’s not really going to help. You can’t count on your Twitter following to pull you out of a depression. You can’t feel floored when your online friends don’t hear you loud and clear. Remember that everyone is living out their own biography, and they might not be as aware of what’s been going on with you…"
Chris Brogan is a hero of mine. I’ve looked up to him for ages, admired his viewpoint & allowed it to influence me in ways I’d find hard to spell out. He usually writes about business. To find him sharing such tough & personal news moved me - I felt supported by his words - as if I’d found someone who lived in the same world as me. It is so good when a celebrity opens up & is as real & human as this, isn’t it?
Chris continued with this advice:
"… Seek help offline. Visit a priest or a rabbi or whatever religious person makes sense. Visit a shrink. Talk to your doctor. Often times, depression is a medical problem that is exacerbated by experiences happening in your environment.
You’re not alone, but the online world makes it really hard to see your pain. Things move too fast, are too shiny, and we are all hurrying around. The online world can make you feel more alone when you’re feeling sad.
Get help early. Don’t feel like you are a failure because you need some help. The strongest people in the world get help often, in many forms. You are worth it. Please, seek help offline and then come back and chat with us, too. Okay? "
Okay Chris,
I have sought help offline & now come back to chat with you all. You can easily imagine how encouraging your words have been, how they have been the difference between staying silent and reaching out online again.
But I’ve changed.
I’m not the same person I was before my depression. Or I am the same person, behaving differently. (I prefer the second formulation.)
I’ve thought hard about why I crashed with depression. Why I’ve crashed before - so rapidly. I’ve listened to others & taken their views more seriously than ever before.
I won’t be blogging & tweeting with gusto & frequency - as I did so enjoyably, frenetically & obsessively. I’ve held back for about three weeks - resisted the urge to rush forward into the fray of online life. I’ve been careful to limit the number of people I’ve caught up with face-to-face. Not because I haven’t wanted to, but because my priority is taking care I don’t get drawn into overdoing myself.
I need a quieter life, with much fewer projects & ambitions. I need to be gentle & moderate. Did anyone ever describe me as "gentle & moderate" before? I bet you didn’t..
Thanks a million
A huge "Thank you" to all who contacted me online & asked how I was. Your words helped me feel unforgotten - even helped me feel I meant something valuable to others. Even though I never replied to you - and often wished I didn’t exist at all - you did me good. My feeble memory recorded your kind concern. I appreciated every word & wish.
I apologise for vanishing without explanation. If I could, I would have written a short note - as Marian Keyes did in January 2010. That would have been considerate but I didn’t have the strength for that. (Marian also wrote these moving & informed pieces in May & June 2010.)
Afterlife is now for me…
I feel more meaning in the phrase "today is the first day of the rest of your life". I’ll do my best to strike a satisfying & sustainable balance (you know what this means.). Yes, I’ll feel again the urge to spend massive energy on attractive ideas & projects. I’ll need help from others to keep me on track. I can’t do it alone.
Grace,
You are such a support to me - my job of being a good-enough father to you matters so much to me. Thank you for being here, for giving me the opportunity to live & keep well.
With love to you all, and a special thanks to Chris Brogan.
The social media holiday was difficult. I got flu & was grumpy all between Christmas & New Year.
Listless, coughing … and a load more symptoms. Felt as if half my brain was present.
So it wasn’t anything like the holiday I hoped for.
But there was one really good thing about it - my mental health held up - I had no trace of depression, lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. I didn’t like myself much but I still felt intact, whole - misery-guts but in good nick.
You see I’ve had a good few dreadful Christmases when my mental health was absent. Those were the really touch times. This year it was only physical trouble, aches, pains, annoyance - all stuff I’m glad to say I’ve been strong enough for.
So there’s plenty to celebrate - even if I don’t yet have the mood for celebrating. I’m confident I’ll get back into the way of energy - the mind & body will start to flow again.
I took snaps on Christmas Day - family times. I was well enough to do that - then I gave up and did a bit of fiddling with shots on the iPad. I’m useless at taking snaps when my humour is foul. But now I find I put a few on Facebook. Maybe I did more during the time than I realised.
Anyway it’s good to be back here - and I hope to blog more consistently during 2011.
A social media holiday starts now
I’m going on a holiday - a virtual holiday.
Yes - I’ve decided this is a great time to leave the internet - apply all my attention to face-to-face contact with people & places.
When I return from the desert - the hermit’s cave - the abstainence - I’ll have done without Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, blogs, AudioBoo - and I’ll have proved I can do it.
I’ll be refreshed, re-vitalised, changed in some way.
But it won’t be easy. It’s one thing to make a resolution - another to stick to it.
There will be temptations - just as that famous guy who went out into the desert experienced.
I hope it will be tough - that way lies satisfaction.
Until I come back here in the New Year - may you & all your family, friends & circle have a time full of love, tolerance, understanding, development & fun.
Bye…
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