I had a shower this morning.
Washed my hair as well. And I went to condition it. That’s when the trouble started.
I need two essential ingredients for my hair to survive: “Head & Shoulders” shampoo and any old conditioner. But, if I don’t condition my hair, I have a dry, frizzy greying, fuzz on top.
Dripping in rinsed shampoo, I reached for the conditioner. It was gone. I’d forgotten that it had run out yesterday. Obviously the wiffe had a tidy-up because the empty plastic bottle I’d left on the floor of the shower was disappeared. I’d hoped there was a dribble left in the bottom.
Without my glasses I am very myopic.
Even if I put the writing right up to the eye, words are still blurred. But if I put the forefinger and thumb of each hand together, in a diamond shape, and squint through the gap, I can sometimes distinguish letters. That was how I came to familiarise myself with the wallpaper in our en suite.
I call it ‘wallpaper’ because all those plastic and glass containers on the tray under the showerhead are just like wallpaper: they make no impression on me. They are there in the background. I never notice when they expand or contract, or when they change colour. They are a constant presence that never gets noticed. As I’ve said, I only need two bottles.
I discovered 10 other containers in what is a tiny shower area. I must stress that there are other cupboards, presses, bathroom and toilet areas in the house, so these 10 are but a fraction of the whole picture.
What an education! This is what I found:
Clarins Gommage “Tonic” Corps Aux Huile Essentielles Toning Body Polisher
Aveda deep penetrating hair revitalizer revitalisant capillaire agissant en profondeur
Clairol Herbal Essences rose hips jojoba vitamin E 2 minute restoring balm
Aussie Miracle Moist Shampoo Moisture infuser Australian Queensland Macadamia Nut
Aveda Color Conserve Shampoo Shampooing
Dermalogica special cleansing gel a skin care system by The International Dermal Institute
Neutrogena Clean Volumising Body enhancing shampoo adds volume without heavy build-up
Aveda pure abundance volumising shampoo shampoo volumateur create fullness
Palmolive Naturals shower & creme Milk & Honey Nourishing
Dermalogica daily microfoliant
A shaver attached to the tiles.
Made me feel so inadequate, scruffy, rough, foliating… and frustrated. Not a single drop of conditioner. Reminded me of “The Ancient Mariner” (’Water, water all around/ nor any drop to drink…”‘)
Help, men… How do you cope with all this stuff surrounding you?