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View My Stats From Bath to Cork with Baby Grace :: July :: 2007
Depression & HealthJuly 31, 2007 10:46 am

Buried deep in the entrails of today’s Irish Times (Health Supplement p.6) is a staggering headline:

"Three out of four say depression is very disruptive"

I said to myself : ‘What? That’s ridiculous. Only three out of four? 25 out of a 100 people think depression isn’t very disruptive? What do they think it is? Where do they live? What sort of a world do that quarter live in?  Is it that they simply don’t think at all about depression, and thereby don’t know what to think? Surely they can’t possibly think depression is less than very disruptive?’

As far as I’m concerned, depression almost kills off reasonable life,

reduces it in quality so much that it is not only horrible for the depressed person, but  also awful for anyone offering day to day support.  My personal experience of depression is that it has depleted my life so much that, while I was depressed, I felt barely alive.  It totally transformed my life.

After I recovered from a bout of depression, I felt restored to myself and extraordinarily better. The impact of depession on my everyday life was huge.

We won’t get far in the discussion about mental health if we can’t all at least agree that depression is a very serious matter. I’d love to know people who think depression is just mildly disruptive: they are either saints or weird.  I’d love them whatever they think. 

I guess I am so experienced in the ways of depression

that I have difficulty imagining what some people think about it.  To me, it is a self-evident truth that depression is a very serious condition. But there was a time when I hadn’t a clue about it. I couldn’t imagine it.  I thought people could simply shrug it off, if they really wanted to.  I remember a time when I didn’t know feelings of awfulness could descend so low. I bobbed along, convinced that feeling down and aggitated was part of life’s normal up and down. I shrugged off periodic phases of low energy and considered my unhappiness to be my lot. (I was brought up an Irish Limerick Roman Catholic)

Actually I never descended fully into the depths of misery until I was in my 40s.  So I had plenty of years of ignorance.

All of which adds up to the realisation that, while I’ve been talking to myself about the 25% of unfortunates who don’t realise the truth about depression, I’ve been realising how long I was one of those people.

People who are bright and sunny in disposition all the time are fortunate.

There are such people. I’ve met a handful. Maybe they’ll never need an in-depth understanding of depression, but they’ll be more in touch with reality if they know that depression is very very disruptive - because everyone has to live in a world in which there are depressed people getting on with life as best they can.

On balance, I think we need a better understanding of mental health (not just in Ireland). The Mind Yourself survey is helpful.  I intend to read the whole report. 

Meanwhile, I’d like to thank Sylvia Thompson from The Irish Times for writing a fine short summary of findings, with comments from Prof. Patricia Casey, professor of psychiatry at UCD & consultant psychiatrist at Mater Hospital, Dublin.  Also, Brian Howard, chief executive of Mental Health Ireland, commented on the report.

But… 

I’d like to have seen some comments from people who have direct personal experience of depression or schizophrenia. The voice of the ’sufferer’ would be well worth hearing. Journalists so often go for the ‘professional expert’ voice rather than the voice of the insider.  Don’t you think?

Depression & HealthJuly 30, 2007 1:36 pm

The headache has begun.

I’ve had no coffee yesterday or today. Now my head aches.  I feel groggy, fuzzy, badly in need of plain water. I’m reluctant to reach for the paracetamol - that feels like cheating.  I think I have to go through a period of being distracted in order to come out the other side.

Chocolate and coffee - I’m off both. I thought I could just stop using them and carry on.  However, I’m using more butter, positively slobbering it on, and flavouring it with ‘Best Quality CHORIZO EXTRA’.

Reading the ingredients:

pork meat,

milk protein,

paprika & spices (undisclosed),

salt,

lactose (I thought that was from milk),

dextrose (I don’t know what that is but I’m suspicious of it),

antioxidant E-316 : is this one of the good Es?

preservatives E-250 & E-252) : ditto ?

colour E-124 : ditto ? 

I’m going to clean my system out, so that I can stuff it with a load of rubbish, eh? 

Poetry, Art & Science, Blogging & MediaJuly 29, 2007 8:02 pm

 Wow… I’ve got there.  A whole new world opens up…

I took these photos on the morning the statue was due to be unveiled in Listowel.

 

This tells the tale…

 

 And again…

 

 Oh, I am so pleased.

Thank you very much for all the help.  It kept me going.  They say tenacity is the greatest of all the creative spirits. 

 

 

Poetry, Art & Science, Blogging & Media 7:48 pm

This is a result of my trying to follow the helpful advice of fellow bloggers.  At least I’ve achieved a squashed image…

Depression & Health, Poetry, Art & Science, Work & Play, Blogging & Media 5:24 pm

I’ve been very grumpy lately.

Feeling out of sorts…  I’ve noticed one brother enquiring carefully whether I’m ‘all right’.  Even the Wiffe has asked me whether I might be going down with depression again… (She didn’t put it exactly like that, but I recognised the substance.)  There has indeed been something wrong with me.  I think it began when I went on holiday at the end of June, and I haven’t yet felt at ease with myself.

This is this morning’s diary…

"Sunday 29 July 2007.  The Kitchen  0924

At last I write.  It has been like being cooped up in a henhouse with a low ceiling and single dusty window… It’s been like being hemmed in, tied up and down, constrained and irritated, made grumpy by the minute

for weeks.  I think I’d place it way back since the day I went on holiday to Lahinch.

Anyway, sitting here, on the old familiar plastic cloth, checkered tablecloth, with the sound of Disney’s Journey to Watership Down mixed with the clock on the wall, I feel at last a bit of space around me.

As if the act of returning to this writing book has pushed open the door to a vast landscape that was squashed.

The un-squashing of the world, liberating the pen, the eye, the bottom on the edge of the chair under me.

I am back at last.

Where have I been? Where have I been exiled?

I suppose it was ‘research’ I was doing, finding out what it was like to be cut off from the tools of my liberation, removed from the view I can only see by looking inwards down the wide avenues of my interior adventurous life.

It is so easy to be seduced by the view from a mountaintop, and so easy to overlook the reality of the view that reached down into the caldera.

I love internal journey around corners of red blood and ivory bones.

I love the wildness of the uncertainty over what’s coming next.

I am back with my Grace (almost 23 months now) pushing her buggy into the kitchen after the end of the film.  She has her project. I have mine, and I love the mingling of our minds, our worlds.

I love the way I must go off now…"

_______________________________

I so need to do a bit of writing every day. 

Without it I get wound up.  [If you’d like to read a fine writer on what it’s like for her to be cut off from writing, you could taste Shadowlands, the blog.] For me, there isn’t much of a problem with not writing for two or three days, but beyond that discomfort surrounds my inner mechanism, as if the oil runs out and I am all metal against metal.

Hopefully, I’ll care better for myself this week and lubricate.  Given that I’m going off coffee and chocolate, de-toxing so to speak, I suspect I need a whole lot of writing to prevent me become even more difficult to live with.  If I find myself awkward to live with, I wonder what the others are saying to themselves? 

Work & PlayJuly 25, 2007 6:08 pm

The terrible flooding in England has stopped me complaining about Irish weather.

I used to work in Tewkesbury and knew people living there.  Even though I’ve lost touch with them, their crisis brings some lovely people back into consciousness.  I can only hope they have running water.

Isn’t it easy to leave people behind without ever meaning to lose contact…

I suppose you can’t hold on to everyone and must move on. 

One good thing that’s come from watching awful images of dirty water is the return of so many fond memories. 

Poetry, Art & Science, Blogging & Media 5:41 pm

"<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80816405@N00/885050670/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1338/885050670_3a665ccf37_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="John B Keane dressed up (2)" /></a>"

 

Poetry, Art & Science 5:34 pm

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80816405@N00/885050670/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1338/885050670_3a665ccf37.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="John B Keane dressed up (2)" /></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80816405@N00/885050564/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1087/885050564_202f13ef12.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="John B Keane’s feet and plaque" /></a>

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1089/885050658_22382011a3.jpg

What am I doing wrong? 

I have photos on Flickr. I’ve chosen an appropriate size and copied and pasted the HTML code into the blog and still can’t display an image… 

 

 

Depression & Health, Politics, Work & PlayJuly 24, 2007 7:16 pm

You really must read this and pass it on, so that it gets out into the public arena.

We need such a voice from within. 

Mary Harney needs to read this… 

Depression & Health, Politics 4:24 pm

Yesterday, Dermod published a wonderfully challenging & enlightening article on his blog.

I’ve just read it quickly and this bit stood out:

"The modern, sensible approach to mental health is a community-care based model, but sadly that is still under-resourced and primitive in Ireland, perhaps betraying an unconscious fear that if we let them into our community, we have to relate to them, and by coming into relationship with lunacy, sexual or mental or spiritual, we have to face our fear that it’s catching…"

The rest of Dermod’s piece is mainly about sex & Simon Coveney and is well worth reading. 

 

Poetry, Art & Science 1:23 pm

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80816405@N00/885050670/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1338/885050670_3a665ccf37.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="John B Keane dressed up (2)" /></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/80816405@N00/885050564/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1087/885050564_202f13ef12.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="John B Keane’s feet and plaque" /></a>

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1089/885050658_22382011a3.jpg

What am I doing wrong? 

I have photos on Flickr. I’ve chosen an appropriate size and copied and pasted the HTML code into the blog and still can’t display an image… 

 

 

Politics, Work & Play, Children, Blogging & Media, Customer service 12:07 pm

No, this is not about the Seanad, nor a nasty jibe about the roundabout where Roma are camped.

This follows today’s The Irish Times headline "Cigarette litter is 56% of total, says departmental survey."

Litter Pollution Monitoring System Report covering 2006:

Cigarette    56 %

Food        26% 

Packaging     13%

Paper        3%

Misc        2%

My interest in litter: 

For some reason I don’t understand, I’ve been much more sensitive to litter since moving back to Ireland from UK.  Over there, I lived in Hackney in London.  There was litter everywhere.  It didn’t bother me much. I gradually lost my sensitivity for litter. Bath looked pretty clean. I think after living in UK for 25 years, I’d ceased to notice litter.  I’m sure it was still there, but there were other things to bug me.

Moving to Cork was like returning to my cave, and being irritated by how previous tenants had left it untidy. 

For 20 months, I’ve noticed nothing but cigarette butts strewn outside.  (To be fair, Grace has also put several bits of used chewing gum in her mouth. I’ve had to prize those away from her.) On Grandad’s amusing blog, I’ve even sounded off about drug addicts who drop cigarette butts.  The poor man has tried gamely to dissuade me from calling cigarette smokers drug addicts.  But I persist, because I’m still irritated by the butts.

Now, I have a positive suggestion for Mr John Gormley, Irish Minister for the Environment.

Let’s do three things:

(1) Give a 40c discount on each packet of cigarettes to every purchaser who returns a packet of 20 butts 

(2) After that’s been working for a year, introduce a new regulation that cigarettes may only be sold to those who present a packet of butts for disposal by the cigarette seller.

(3) Introduce a new form of community service for those who commit minor offences: cigarette butt picking in brightly coloured uniforms.

[I am keen to empty the prisons as much as possible. I’ve written before about how expensive and ineffective it is to put most people in prison.]

I wonder if there might be any support for this type of approach? 

Work & PlayJuly 23, 2007 2:27 pm

I must admit I’ve often wished I could say I hadn’t followed the trial of Joe O’Reilly.

I’m suspicious of public opinion (including my own) when it comes to murder trials. Humans have often proved themselves capable of mob justice and fashion-driven opinion.

I was very surprised when I heard the verdict. 

I expected an acquittal. But I kept saying to myself ‘the jury in not in the same position’.  The jury heard the full story.

Actually, the jury didn’t hear the full story. There was no such thing.  The jury heard what the judge permitted them to hear from evidence which the director of public prosecutions (or whatever that role is called here) permitted the police to present.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I read the Sunday newspapers, and more today.  If the jury had acquitted, and all the extra stuff had come out, how would members of the jury have felt?

We should all be grateful to that jury, I think. 

Grateful, not so much for the verdict, but for the way in which the individual members of the jury put themselves on the line, and took responsibility for hearing and determining the outcome.  The rest of us can take that responsibility foregranted. We can think little of the burden each individual juror carried throughout such a publicly celebrated trial. 

The judge too.  His was a remarkable job.  Every syllable open to public scrutiny.

I did jury service in Wood Green (London) years ago. 

I remember how educative the whole process was… how impressed I was by a judge whom I might so easily have dismissed as a doddery old foggy… how carefully all the jury deliberated… how unimpressive the prosecution was compared with the defence…

I learned the difference between ’stealing’ and ‘dealing in stolen property’. I would willingly do jury service again.

But, what if I was jury on a murder trial where all the evidence was circumstantial?  Would I be so keen to assume such responsibility, when required to exercise intelligent judgement for days and days?  Could I be serious for that long? There is little hiding room among a jury of 11 people.

Even if the jury got it wrong, I’d say the jury system is a good one. 

(I don’t mean to imply that this particular jury got it wrong.) People drawn into jury service tend to be responsible and, if there are some who don’t start out being all that responsibly-minded, the legal process is capable of transforming people into responsible citizens.  Or so I think.  

ps  I see Sarah Carey’s written her view too… 

Depression & Health, Politics, Poetry, Art & ScienceJuly 18, 2007 2:09 pm

While driving home from an Aware meeting last night, I missed Vincent Browne on RTE radio.

Instead, there was some acoustic music programme broadcast from the Limerick studio.

Only then did it hit me how much I feel I’ve lost something important, by not being able to listen to Browne’s report from the Tribunal.  Yes, I can read about it in newspapers but that’s no substitute for the audio reconconstruction.

I think Browne has been reporting on, and analysing, the work of the Tribunals for about 10 years. Now we have lost the radio programme.  The woman responsible for RTE radio programming has struck again.  She got rid of Rattlebag: I was disappointed and angry.  Now, she’s got rid of a serious public service broadcasting gem: I am shocked at how little public reaction there has been.

The last line in Vincent Browne’s column in The Irish Times today says

"If we don’t care a toss whether our politicians are honest or not why bother with tribunals at all?" 

He seems to be weary of the public disinterest in the tribunals.  I feel despairing of the public interest. It’s as if public opinion is narrow, domestic, parochial and lacking in any nobility.

But it’s probably that I’m tired today and drained of the energy I need to rise above everyday mediocrity. 

Browne’s off to write a biography of Charlie Haughey.

I suspect he’s swapped the enthusiasm he used to feel for rooting out public corruption in return for an opportunity to exercise his artistic side.

Meanwhile, where will that woman from Radio Foyle stike next? 

Poetry, Art & Science, Work & PlayJuly 17, 2007 2:11 pm

"Now, more than ever before,

we have to fight in order to erradicate dominant humdrum vulgarity,

to undertake with clarity and quality an education

to enrich man through art and culture…"

This make me think how important it is to pick and display words carefully.   I must do my bit.

Poetry, Art & Science, Work & Play 2:00 pm

"I believe that true intelligence is to have an awareness of the moment of a whole existence, in order to play with this marvellous and fabulous experiment and to be able to laugh at foolishness, at what is called important…"

So said Cesar Manrique. 

I’m going to do some work with people in Arts organisations in Ireland. 

I’m getting into the mood.

Work & Play, Children, Customer serviceJuly 16, 2007 7:13 pm

My family is deeply divided by the visitor centre at the Cliffs.

On one side are those who admire the development, love the use of Liscannor Stone, find the steps that stretch up each side to be excellent, find the interior to be visually striking and the content to be suitably educational. They love the way the Visitor Centre gives pleasure to those who can’t climb up the incline.

On the other side are those who dislike the commercialisation of a wild place, find the content of the interpretation to be purile, an inauthentic package for tourists. Whatever good they might see in the external design, they find the Visitor Centre to be a poor trick designed to coax tourists to stay longer, spend more and increase the bed occupancy rate.  They insist that the new Cliffs experience contributes little to the local community.

The sister (number 2), the brother-in-law and the brother (number 2) line up on one side.  The mother, the Wiffe, Grace and I line up on the other.  The family is deeply divided.

During the holiday, I went twice.  I expected it to be expensive. But at 8 euros for a whole car load, including entry to the centre (though there is another 4 euro fee to go into the interpretation area), I thought it good value for money - especially when the weather outside was fierce.

What I love most of all is the debate the Centre provokes.  It makes me think about questions, like

(1)  what is the most desirable role for tourism?

(2)  in what sense does a local community own such a major attraction?

(3)  is it best to conserve or preserve? 

(4)  what sort of balance can be struck between the impulse to educate and the impulse to amuse?

and so on…

I urge you to go west and see for yourself.  1m people visit the place every year.  It may be Ireland’s most popular ’sight’.

If you’ve been there, it would be great to have your view. 

Work & Play, Customer service 1:05 pm

Straight back into work this morning, I needed a book.

My copy is buried in the shipment of belongings that’ll arrive in Cork in August.  I’ve never been without my Belbin for the best part of 20 years.  When I began as a management consultant I found Belbin’s work on teams.  I’ve used it on most teamworking projects.  It’s based on excellent research in UK about what makes teams effective. The original research was done in the late 70s or early 80s, and ithe conclusions have been updated and refined in the 2003 edition.

So I thought it would be easy to get another copy.

 1.   I looked on Amazon.co.uk - a 7-day wait advertised (too long for my needs)

2.    I phoned O’Mahonys the Limerick bookshop - no copy in stock: they offered to order it for me

3.    Phoned Waterstones Cork - same thing : they suggested John Smith’s bookshop at UCC or Russell’s, another Cork bookshop

4.     Phoned UCC bookshop - same thing.  I tried Russell’s too.  I gave up on Cork.  ‘I’ll go to the capitol’, I said to myself.

5.    Tried to find Hughes & Hughes, Dublin in Eircom directory enquiries: couldn’t find it

6.    Got Waterstones, Dublin, on Dawson Street - no joy: they suggested Hodges Figgis

7.    Hodges Figgis has a copy on order  and put my name on it, no obligation to buy.  I gave the good man my phone number.  He suggested Hughes & Hughes in Dun Laoire.

8. I tried Hughes & Hughes via Eircom again and this time I got the number and they gave me the ISBN (0750659106) but no book 

9. Hughes & Hughes in Dun Laoire suggested I contact the publisher who might know who had a copy. A splendid person gave me the name of the parent company, so I could go to the website.

10.    Elsevier.com contained a UK phone number to ring.  Back to the UK…  (where I lived for so long).  Then the experience changed from being very frustrating to being interesting.

11. The man who answered the phone at Elsevier told me the book was ‘withdrawn’.  3,000 copies in the warehouse.  I asked him if he knew of any bookshop which might have one. He said that no bookshop was allowed to sell them.  This has all happened recently - the book was withdrawn at the start of June or July 2007 (I forget which).  I said I was curious as to why the book had been withdrawn?  He said he too was curious and he would contact the person in charge of the publication at Butterworth-Heinemann.  He took my email address and offered to let me know.

And there the mystery stands.

What on earth is going on? 

I have to develop a plan B - run a teamworking event without Belbin at my side.  Browse the web because my memory isn’t reliable.

If anyone knows anything about this mystery, my curiosity continues.  Certainly the booksellers don’t know what’s going on…

Blogging & Media 1:40 am

I thought I’d get straight down to writing again.

But, instead I concentrated on reading… 

Catching up with other people’s blogs…

Leaving a few comments…

Now there is not time for writing…

I guess this means that I’m more curious than exhibitionist…

Anyway, it’s good to be back. 

Work & Play, Children, Customer serviceJuly 8, 2007 11:36 am

I went there with Grace.

There wasn’t a single high-chair to be found in the restaurant.  I asked staff whether there had ever been a high-chair?  They said ‘No’.  There was no managerial presence in the restaurant.  I guess if two members of staff say there has never been a high-chair that means there is a policy of no high-chairs.

I’ve never come across such a policy at a ‘world class visitor centre’.

Have you?

I’m going back today with the Wiffe and Pauline and Grace, and if I can find a manager, I’ll ask.

ps I’m planning to write a review of our ‘visitor’ experience comparing and contrasting it with the Lanzarotte experience of visiting the Cesar Manrique designed centre which looks down from a great height across the sea (and I can’t remember the name…)

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