At the NSUE Conference @ about 1150 Tony Blackmore presenting "Every Mother’s Son"….

Tony on his own experience… before publication

confusion…. son happy and loyal… things began to change… bewinderment… school difficulties.. angry tirades…. efforts to get help for son… GP, counselling… jobs & other children… false turns…. Rutland Treatment Centre @ 18… no breakthrough… left home… he tried …. hospitalisations… waiting in A&E units… self conscious and embarrassed at first… looking for info and care plans…. 18 years son… diagnosis… 10 minutes with psychiatrist… son suffering with schitzophrenia… I try to avoid using schitz… label him… after years…  no support and little info available to us.. we realised we were alone…

son came to understand his illness… acceptance compassion and commitment…. maze of mental illness… we are learning to distinguish between the illness and our unique loving son….

i live in my mind like my son… few friends.. goals he won’t achieve without professional help… little help… sad I can’t do more to help him… even a sunday job… his fierce desire to get a job… a local authority place to live… huge increase in his self esteeem.   I struggle with my own anger at the lack of care… the failure to include carers in the system…

a major breakthrough when we contacted S.Ireland.  a ray of hope… waterford carers group… great support from other carers.. we were not alone… not the only ones going over the past trying to see where we had gone wrong…. a wealth of expericne and advice…

key findings in our report every motherr’s son:  first written from carer’s perspective

because we felt the need for greater involvement  invitation from John Redican to explore the issues in advocacy.. outcome of our advocacy training…  research team designed a questionnaire… interviewed parents confidentially…

seeking a better standard of care…

key finding: the information deficit for carers and family….  was this explained to you in terms you could understand?  No by most.  Given information: No in huge numbers.  INformation giving is support and almost cost neutral… 79% about the complaints system…. afraid to critisise…

housing the second highest concern….

emotional  well being at risk… I have ended up using the services myself

This man knows what he’s talking about.  I guess there are many "service users" who need a carer to be their advocate.  The carer is what others have within themselves: some outsource their advocacy…

I remember needing someone to come to the psychiatrist with me, how I was reluctant to bring the Wiffe with me, how hard I found that going into a room and knowing I would  not advocate for myself.  I would not engage vigorously with the psychiatrist.  I knew I would have benefitted from having the wiffe with me, but that time that was a step too far…  In future, using my rrelapse prevention plan I well take help with me, another pair of ears, another mouth… so needed when I’m severely depressed.  Maybe I could become an advocate for someone else.  When I’m well, I’m a good advocate… I could use those skills…. must come back to this…

I’ve taken a few copies of Every Mother’s Son summary report from Waterford Parents and Carers Research and Advocacy Project.  Someone at Aware might like to read it.  I’ll read it at home.  It’s very well produced with a great photograph of the sun coming through trees and around the trunk of the tree.

He’s finishing now…  Join with us now… I know the minister is going to achieve objectives.  he will…