You won’t believe this - but it’s true.

Nothing’s been changed to protect the guilty.

Lionel Powell & I planned to fly RyanAir to Gatwick from Cork.  We were going over on Sunday to an opera @ Glyndebourne. [L’Elisir d’amore]  The flight was scheduled to leave at 1255.  We got to Cork Airport in plenty of time.

I haven’t flown much in the last year. 

I forgot that, when you check-in on-line, you don’t go to the check-in desk. Re-directed by the RyanAir women, we sat for coffee in the cafe before security.  We took our time because I was in no hurry.  Lionel was a bit twitchy.

Thru security, we lingered in the "Duty Free" shop.

My friend, who’d hardly ever been to an opera, bought fragrance.  As far as I was concerned, we were in plenty of time; the plane wasn’t due off for ages: twas only 1235 when we reached the boarding gate.

There was hardly anyone at the boarding gate except three RyanAir staff.

"Is this the flight to Gatwick?" I asked, registering the scarcity of travellers.

"It’s shut.  You should have been here at 1225", the RyanAir woman said.  She pointed to the self-printed boarding sheet.

Shock. Disbelief.  Horror.  Oh shit…

"Please ask them if they’ll open up for us" said Lionel.  I was dumb, delivering a litany of curses, internally.

"I’ll try, but they never do."

"Please" was all I could add to proceedings.

The RyanAir woman phoned someone.  I could hear her being told the flight was shut. I was almost in the phone.  "Only the pilot can allow that now".

"OK.  Thanks" replied our woman, "I’ll ask". She rang another number.  "Please" & "Oh thank you" I pleaded, feeling lost, numbly clutching a straw.

"Hi.  We have two more here.  Would you mind asking the captain if he would let them on, please?"

Silence…

I had time to visualise several nasty consequences of my foolish inexperience:  whatever we’d do we would not turn back into Cork…

"He says send them down, but that’s it."  As far as I was concerned, the most needy person could be locked out now, we were on, on, on.

What?  Did I really hear that?  Lionel was already striding on - me muttered nothing but "thank you, thank you, thank you very much…"

This is what went thru my head:

"Oh my God… What’s going on?  This can’t be happening.  This has never happened.  In the whole history of RyanAir, no pilot has ever opened a closed door.  Is the company going soft?  Will they all lose their jobs if I blog about this? Should I sell my RyanAir shares? (Joking: I don’t think I have any.) Wow.  This is amazing.  Damn it, I can’t go on Twitter on the plane and tell others…"

There were RyanAir people at the bottom of the stairs.  I thanked them.  I thanked the next RyanAir woman on the plane. It was almost full. 

Fortunately, I was separated from Lionel on the plane. We hadn’t spoken a word to each other.

I needed time to compose myself.  Squeezed into a middle seat, for once I spoke to no one on the plane.  By the time we got to Gatwick, "another RyanAir flight on time", I’d persuaded myself the gods had sent me the experience of a lifetime.

I bet there isn’t a single person in the whole world who’s ever had a similar experience.

Do you believe the story?

PS If this is the result of a RyanAir step-change-in-culture programme, I’d like someone to pass this story on to Michael O’Leary.